“I have two Master’s Degrees and can’t spell worth beans”

Growing up I struggled with reading. I remember in grade school hating when the class would take turns reading out loud. I simply didn’t do it very well. I would hear other students reading with emotion and inflection in their voice as they read the piece assigned and I would struggle just to get the words out as I sounded them out often mispronouncing words as I read. Honestly, I felt stupid. I asked myself: “What’s wrong with me?” I didn’t get the answer to that question for several decades.

I would be lying if I said I was never discouraged, sad and even wanted to give up on school at times. But overall, I used my struggle as motivation. I knew I had to work hard and did just that, well most of the time. All through Jr High and High School reading was never my friend but I found I excelled in other areas. Math for one, while I was never the smartest student in the room, I was able to hold my own. I also gravitated to trade classes that taught a hands-on skill. Graduating high school, I had a “B” average GPA and decided on college.

Bible College that is. I loved the Lord and wanted to learn more and serve Him more. What I didn’t really think about is that at Bible College you read the Bible a lot. Reading, that thing that I was really slow at. It truly was a losing battle as I only made it through my first year.

I went to work in the woods as a logger and did that for a couple years. I distinctly remember after several days of cold, rainy, stormy and windy weather looking up at the trees, feeling the rain hit my face and thinking “is this it? What am I doing here.” While I was in great physical shape I knew there had to be more. So, I decided to go back to school and called the Tribe.

I spoke with a man by the name of Dean Azule who was the Tribe’s director of higher education at the time. He held my hand, figuratively, as I headed back to school. I went to the University of Oregon (Go Ducks!) and after a few terms decided to major in economics. Yes there was reading and I struggled but learned to cope and just work hard and study long hours to get through the materials. I chose economics first because I really enjoyed it but also because I had an interest in law and knew it was a good foundation if I wanted to go on to law school someday. I graduated with my Bachelor degree, earning an even higher GPA than high school.

Life went on, and I decided to do three things simultaneously, go back to Law School, run for Tribal Council and start a business. Needless to say, there was not enough time in the day, and I ended up dropping out of Law School. My business slowly dwindled away but I excelled at Tribal Council. I served only one term back in the early 90s. I made a thoughtful, prayerful decision to not seek a second term.

Fast forward about 20 years and I decided to go back to school again seeking a Master’s degree. I returned to the University of Oregon and earned my MBA from the Lundquist College of Business and a Master of Science in Journalism with a focus in public relations from the School of Journalism and Communication. Neither degree was easy, but I had learned how to study and more importantly how to read better. While still not as good as most of my classmates, I made up for it with extra time studying.

After two decades and completing all my schooling, I finally got the answer to my question: Why can’t I read very well, what’s wrong with me?” My middle daughter, who also struggled with reading, got tested for dyslexia while getting her Batchelor’s degree. The testing was extensive over a couple days, and she came home and explained the tests, her results and her diagnosis. As she explained how she processed written text, I realized I did the same thing. She explained how as she read, she needed to decode every word in a sentence and then every sentence of a paragraph. In all the decoding the meaning, emotion and nuances were lost. I sat aghast with my eyes wide as I realized that was me. It’s not until you read it a second or third time that finally the message or story begins to come out and make sense. While I have never been tested, I’m confident I struggle with dyslexia. I finally understood why I struggled with reading and why today, I still can’t spell worth beans.

I want to encourage you. If you or a child or other loved one seems to struggle with reading, or school in general, this could be the reason. Today there are many more resources to help students succeed who have this or other learning challenges. There is hope, and success is just beyond giving up.

PS. I hate compound words. There is no rhyme or reason as to which ones go together, and which remain two separate words. Just sayin’.